THERE NOW FOLLOWS AN ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN.
This announcement is hereby delivered as a FINAL CALL, a reminder to all the loyal to pre-book tickets in advance for the forthcoming Cardiacs tour.
While THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN normally salutes impulse, it must be added that on this occasion "Impulse Is the Enclave of the Foolhardy". No man can accurately predict the future; does anyone truly have a firm grip of destiny in his or her own hand? THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN reckons not and sternly advises that turning up and expecting to purchase tickets on the night may very well be AT YOUR PERIL.
The Special Garage Concerts Vols 1 & 2.
It has come to our attention that many of the more luddite factions making up the heterogeneous throng of the loyal are waiting to purchase The Special Garage Concerts Vols 1 & 2 from regular high street retailers.
THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN.
The Special Garage Concerts Vols. 1 & 2 are ONLY available from www.cardiacs.com or at the forthcoming concerts…
CARDIACS ON TOUR NOVEMBER 2005
NOVEMBER 6TH BRIGHTON CONCORD 2
Box office 01273 673311
Online sales www.concorde2.co.uk
Online sales www.seetickets.com
NOVEMBER 7TH PORTSMOUTH WEDGEWOOD ROOMS
Box office 023 9286 3911
Online sales www.seetickets.com
NOVEMBER 8TH OXFORD ZODIAC
Box office 01865 420042
Online sales www.seetickets.com
NOVEMBER 9TH NORTHAMPTON SOUNDHAUS
Box office 0115 9129000
Online sales www.seetickets.com
NOVEMBER 11TH LONDON ASTORIA THEATRE
Box office 0870 060 3777
Online sales www.meanfiddler.com
Online sales www.seetickets.com
Click here to download promotional flyers for Cardiacs forthcoming tour.
(For distribution among reputable establishments)
Regarding said tour, THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN wish to take this opportunity to banish rumour, lie and half truth circulating among tripe-hounds that the set will be based on the aforementioned live albums.
THIS IS UNTRUE.
Cardiacs will be performing an extensive selection of material culled lovingly from their entire three-decade tenure. They will be assisted in this rigorous task by five real girls. (See beautiful mouse mat for evidence, available from merchandise page).
There will be an EXCLUSIVE SHIRT on sale to commemorate the filming of the London Astoria show.
While all ALPHABET staff will attend to your needs with patience and congeniality the same cannot be said for those NOT in the employ of THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN. It is strongly advised that merchandise be bought BEFORE Cardiacs take to the stage lest you find yourself EJECTED onto a cruel autumnal Charing Cross road empty handed by those with little loyalty to Cardiacs or goodwill.
The more observant will have noticed www.cardiacs.com has been updated, altered and improved. Here you will find a wealth of previously covert information and the opportunity to ask Cardiacs themselves your ‘Vexed Questions’.
The first month’s are up there and answered.
This will be followed each month by more. Perhaps.
With respect,
THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN