THERE NOW FOLLOWS AN ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN
In the interest of keeping ‘idle talk’ to a minimum THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN feels the time is RIGHT to officially announce the support acts for Cardiacs forthcoming tour.
THE GOD DAMN WHORES will be opening proceedings.
Anyone who witnessed the CRUSHING ASSAULT and frequent use of ‘blue language’ that ex-Cardiac Jon Poole’s ‘team’ trumped up at last year’s London Astoria concert will testify that this group (fronted by redoubtable colleague of THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN, Jon Poole) must not and WILL NOT be missed.
The God Damn Whores album, ‘We Are The Lucky Thirteen’ is widely available on Round Records and suggested listening.
The God Damn Whores feature…
Jon Poole (ex- Cardiacs/The Wildhearts)
Chris Catalyst (Sisters of Mercy/The Scaramanga Six/Antiproduct)
Jase Edwards (Ginger and the Sonic Circus/ ex-Wolfsbane)
Following The God Damn Whores, yet INVISIBLE to the HUMAN EYE is THE GASMAN.
The Gasman invents and performs beautiful music to help YOU ‘fast-track’ the lonely time between ‘The Whores’ and your beloved Cardiacs. His ‘Sonic Auto Slumber’ will set off a time bomb in your soul that only the most mean-spirited would refuse to detonate.
Will YOU accept the detonation?
The Gasman’s recorded output is legion. His many recordings are available on labels such as Warp, Planet Mu and Sublight Records.
Recordings and merchandise for both support acts will be available at the concerts.
Both acts were requested specifically at Cardiacs and THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN’s behest. Make your early attendance a PRIORITY.
Regarding Cardiacs, and a gentle word in YOUR ear from THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN:
Cardiacs will NOT be performing exactly the same set on every night of the forthcoming tour.
What that might mean is of no concern to you.
YOU, as ever, are STRONGLY ADVISED to buy YOUR tickets in advance.
As YOU will be aware, there are “those out there” involved in booking Cardiacs concerts, hungry for a “quick buck”, that overtly doubt YOUR loyalty to YOUR favorite group. Naysayers in the so called “music business" that would have YOUR FAVORITE GROUP banished from their dank halls if they can’t have their filthy lucre NOW! NOW! NOW!
While THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN would normally suggest you ignore these TORMENTORS, in this case we must demand that YOU bite that ‘rusty bullet’ and placate their weak, palsied hearts and buy your tickets IN ADVANCE.
Disappointment looms for the ’slack hearted’ confident of swanning in ticket less, YOUR entry may prove difficult.
While this forthcoming Cardiacs tour will find YOUR beloved Cardiacs enjoying many of the beautiful enclaves of this Mainland Britain, Cardiacs will NOT be performing in Scotland.
Word has been received by THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN of disquiet ‘North of The Border’ regarding Cardiacs paucity of shows in that region.
THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN wish to make it clear that little or no offence is intended. Cardiacs will only play venues they are booked to perform at.
THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN feel it would be both wasteful and folly for Cardiacs to attempt to perform at a venue they had not been booked to perform at.
It might even be illegal.
YOU may wish to jot the following text into your diary, a helpful shorthand note, abbreviated for YOU with kindness by THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN.
Support- The God Damn Whores and The Gasman.
Get there early to see them.
Buy ticket NOW”
outstaying their welcome since 1977
THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN