http://www.cardiacs.com News about Cardiacs Thu, 05 Nov 2009 10:01:27 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en There now follows a special announcement from THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN It is with great pride that we are able to share with you the first grumbling evidence of the stalled machinery surrounding CARDIACS beginning to twitch and stumble into life before your loyal but sometimes, one might say, disbelieving eyes. We therefore take this timely opportunity to announce that from this day forwards CARDIACS recorded material will begin to be made available for purchase in its entirety from ITUNES, a well known online retail outlet of repute. The uploading of the complete back catalogue of albums has begun and soon will be complete. We consequently must INSIST that you avail yourselves of this convenience and make full use of the following electrophonic code sequential address at your earliest promptitude. Click here to open iTunes (requires iTunes installed on your computer) Alternatively if you have iTunes simply select iTunes Store and search for “Cardiacs” With regard to the non availability of goods and the future of merchandise direct from THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN by way of our official web site, let us attempt to quell your fears. The online merchandising arrangements will soon be back in place. This will be of great relief to those eager to fill their ... http://www.cardiacs.com/2009/11/05/a-special-announcement/ With ever an eye for a worthy cause and in light of current events THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN would deem it especially prudent to take note and peruse the following announcement. Young Sally Morgan has taken upon herself the HEROIC task of participating in the GREAT NORTHERN RUN as a means of raising money to further the causes of that fine establishment THE BRITISH NEUROLOGICAL RESEARCH TRUST. We therefore have deemed it appropriate that YOU follow the Electronic address link gateway below and that YOUR LOYALTY DEMANDS a generous donation by way of sponsorship of this splendid cause so selflessly undertaken by our beloved Sally. THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN wishes her all the success required and we know that YOU will be joining us with those heartfelt wishes. This is where one needs to travel on the wireless highway to: http://www.justgiving.com/Sally-Morgan With Respect http://www.cardiacs.com/2009/09/14/there-now-follows-an-announcement-of-great-importance-from-the-alphabet-business-concern-2/ A full year has now passed by silently and stealthily yet with ever an eye on promptitude and a passion for consistency it now falls upon THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN to provide this timely annual update to YOU our ever faithful family regarding the health and condition of Tim Smith. One complete year on from Tim Smith’s ‘accident’, THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN is only too aware that since its previous gloomy news bulletin there have purposely been no further updates. In this time YOU have been both patient and respectful to the family of YOUR IDOL and to those so called friends with whom he keeps regular counsel. If rumour and tittle-tattle have reached the collective ear of THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN then we have seen fit neither to extinguish nor fan their ugly flames. It is at this time, then, that THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN has chosen to clarify the CURRENT situationAt the time of his cardiac arrest Tim Smith effectively died. Resuscitation allowed his passage back from that world of mists and spirits to this one of foetid edges and filth, but upon re-entering this VALE OF TEARS it became apparent that he had suffered a terrible brain injury ... http://www.cardiacs.com/2009/06/25/there-now-follows-an-announcement-of-great-importance-from-the-alphabet-business-concern/ Due to the extenuating circumstances we find ourselves in following the health issues pertaining to CARDIACS very own Tim Smith we have deemed it appropriate at this time to officially call to a halt all activities concerning CARDIACS for the foreseeable future. It therefore falls upon us to reluctantly cancel the forthcoming tour booked for November We apologise wholeheartedly for this unavoidable action and also for any delay in letting you know of our decision. Any delay has been necessary in order to assure that all promoters and their hirelings have been made aware of this decision in advance to facilitate early redemption of any ticketing refunds as and when required. On a more positive note. THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN has now provided a unique and encouragingly entitled special electrophonic code sequential address for the exclusive use of YOU the faithful to send your well wishes, uplifting verse or whatever you decide to encourage the earliest recovery of young Tim. This is the facility you shall use and only this to ensure that your messages reach the sickly lad. positivevibes@cardiacs.com We will of course be certain to deliver to him those messages we deem appropriate at the appropriate time. With respect THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN http://www.cardiacs.com/2008/07/23/there-now-follows-an-announcement-from-the-alphabet-business-concern-3/ As some of you have no doubt become aware, Tim Smith, the stalwart front man of your beloved CARDIACS has fallen foul of ill health. In order to quash any rumours and idle tittle-tattle amongst the faithful we find it appropriate at this time to furnish you with the necessary information to perhaps remove the worried furrows from the brows of the more hysterical amongst you.. On 25th June Tim collapsed and found himself the unfortunate victim of, ironically, a cardiac arrest. Thanks to the skill and dedication of those heroes of the streets, the paramedic service he was speedily ensconced within the caring hands of the National Health Service where he was treated by expert medical staff and thankfully he is now making a recovery. There is no longer any danger to his life and he is improving every day though we must caution that there is a long road ahead. Needless to say we are sure you all wish him a speedy recovery and in keeping with our reputation as the caring concern, THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN will soon be facilitating a method of sending him your personal messages of goodwill on our Web site www.cardiacs.com which is sure to cheer ... http://www.cardiacs.com/2008/07/16/there-now-follows-an-announcement-from-the-alphabet-business-concern-2/ Please accept our apologies but there will be delays dispatching online orders at this time. Your patience is appreciated. http://www.cardiacs.com/2008/07/07/shop-order-delays/ LIVE BBC RADIO SESSION Cardiacs will be performing three songs LIVE in the studio on Marc Riley’s Brain Surgery show on Monday 23rd June between 7 and 9:30pm, On BBC 6 Music. Tune in early. The first song will be performed at 7pm and the following two at 7:30. THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN takes this opportunity to remind YOU that the official announcements from THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN are the ONLY true and reliable source of information regarding the activity of CARDIACS,  YOUR favourite group. Anything you might read or hear about through the so called grapevine is to be treated with unease, suspicion and doubt. With respect THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN http://www.cardiacs.com/2008/06/03/live-bbc-radio-session/     There now follows an announcement from THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN. THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN, as a trusty conduit to keep YOU abreast of developments, can report that CARDIACS have once again deigned to raise their sour heads over the parapet and perform a series of shows in the UK later this year. The tour dates follow this announcement. The eagle-eyed among the loyal may care to note that the second show is in the city of Glasgow. Glasgow is in Scotland. THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN has always kept CARDIACS in check with a tried and tested punishment / reward system.THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN sees no reason to change that.CARDIACS have, as per usual, been asked to perform certain tasks recently.Your favourite group’s lack of communication does little to encourage THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN.Members of CARDIACS have been sighted publicly carrying themselves in such a way as to tarnish the reputation of THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN. Punishments will be swift and fair.      CARDIACS ON TOUR NOVEMBER 2008 13 NOVEMBER YORK FIBBERSThe Stonebow, Unit 8/12, Stonebow House, York, YO1 2NP 08700 600 100www.fibbers.co.uk/ticketline 14 NOVEMBER GLASGOW GARAGEThe Garage, 490 Sauchiehall St, Glasgow, G2. Tel: 0141 332 1120http://www.cpllive.co.uk/cpl/index.phpticket hotline 08444 77 1000  15 NOVEMBER SHEFFIELD BOARDWALK0871 230 1095 Snig Hill, Sheffield, ... http://www.cardiacs.com/2008/05/12/some-news-for-now/  There now follows an announcement from THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN In order to keep YOUR FAVOURITE GROUP alert, THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN wish to announce that, by way of punishment, CARDIACS do not have the faintest idea exactly which songs they will be performing from night to night on the approaching 2007 TOUR. Read on, and in doing so ‘get wise’ to an opportunity for YOU to view recently filmed activity of CARDIACS hard at work.     The Seasons are changing and after an IMPOVERISHED EXCUSE for a summer, winter once again draws in.The everyday feeble-minds trudge gloomily on, cursing THE EARTH’s inevitable ‘rotation-cycle’, finding sorrow in every turn, misery in every opportunity.DANK DISPLEASURE IN EVERY WELL-MEANING GLANCE.  Not YOU. YOU carry a kernel of hope in YOUR BEAUTIFUL HEART.YOU light the way for those stricken by THE BLEAK HOURS.YOU hold forth, gushing the florid syllables of the condemned man ‘let-off’ at the eleventh hour.YOU bring cheer."COLD HANDS - WARM HEART".YOU bring love.So, then, as the forthcoming CARDIACS tour draws ever closer, THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN has deemed it both appropriate and urgent that the following matters be absorbed for the best part of a day for the benefit of YOUR wellbeing.What is ... http://www.cardiacs.com/2007/10/30/179/ THERE NOW FOLLOWS AN ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN  In the interest of keeping ‘idle talk’ to a minimum THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN feels the time is RIGHT to officially announce the support acts for Cardiacs forthcoming tour.  THE GOD DAMN WHORES will be opening proceedings.   Anyone who witnessed the CRUSHING ASSAULT and frequent use of ‘blue language’ that ex-Cardiac Jon Poole’s ‘team’ trumped up at last year’s London Astoria concert will testify that this group (fronted by redoubtable colleague of THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN, Jon Poole) must not and WILL NOT be missed.   The God Damn Whores album, ‘We Are The Lucky Thirteen’ is widely available on Round Records and suggested listening. The God Damn Whores feature…Jon Poole (ex- Cardiacs/The Wildhearts)Chris Catalyst (Sisters of Mercy/The Scaramanga Six/Antiproduct)Jase Edwards (Ginger and the Sonic Circus/ ex-Wolfsbane)Denzil (Ginger)  Following The God Damn Whores, yet INVISIBLE to the HUMAN EYE is THE GASMAN.  The Gasman invents and performs beautiful music to help YOU ‘fast-track’ the lonely time between ‘The Whores’ and your beloved Cardiacs. His ‘Sonic Auto Slumber’ will set off a time bomb in your soul that only the most mean-spirited would refuse to detonate.   Will YOU accept the detonation? ... http://www.cardiacs.com/2007/10/10/november-tour-2007/