News

THERE NOW FOLLOWS AN ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN.
 
NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS 
 
With respect
 
THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN.

THERE NOW FOLLOWS AN ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN.
 
ALL TICKETS FOR THE CARDIACS SECRET GIGS HAVE BEEN SOLD.
 
 
With respect
 
THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN.

THERE NOW FOLLOWS AN ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN.
 
Please be advised that tickets for Cardiacs Special SECRET Concerts are on sale NOW!
 
Cardiacs will be playing a different set on each night.
 
1st night 21st December 2005 - Vol I of "The Special Garage Concerts"
2nd night 22nd December 2005 - Vol II of "The Special Garage Concerts"
 
For those who do not know, it is tunes ONLY from when Cardiacs were babies.
 
Tunes no later than 1983 and many dating as far back as 1976!
 
There will be different support acts for each night.
 
On the first night you will TREASURE a rare performance from the amazing STARS IN BATTLEDRESS.
 
On the second night be prepared for a very special and rare treat from a band we KNOW you will be EXTRA pleased to see treading them boards again!
 
To obtain your tickets please go to http://www.cardiacs.com/dates/ticket-sales and using your skill and judgement select the number of tickets you require for each night and purchase your requirements.
 
The Bull and Gate is a pub. It is not very big. It is for this reason that tickets are strictly limited to a maximum of four per person per night. They are £12 each.
 
The Bull and Gate is in Kentish Town. 389 Kentish Town, London NW5. Two minutes from Kentish Town Tube.
 
You will receive a letter of confirmation by e-mail which will thank you for your purchase and will also contain your unique name/number code that will be required to gain entrance to the venue. Do not lose this, as entrance is only assured by providing the correct combination to the doorman. No actual ticket will be issued.
 
EXAMPLE
 
THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN thanks you for your purchase of 4 tickets to see Cardiacs on 21 Dec 2005 at The Bull and Gate, Kentish Town, London.
 
Your unique ticket code is..
 
Peter jones 1234 5
Peter jones 1234 6
Peter jones 1234 7
Peter jones 1234 8
 
Please give the doorman your name and special code number and he will politely stamp your hand and allow you in. Don’t worry about (eg;) "Peter Jones" appearing four times, it merely means that it was he who bought the tickets. It is the name/number combination that matters.
 
Please ensure you print and take your letter of confirmation to the venue on your chosen night to avoid any disappointment caused through memory loss.
 
With respect
 
THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN

THERE NOW FOLLOWS AN ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN.
 
ATTENTION!!! Tickets for Cardiacs Special SECRET Concerts will be going on sale on Sunday 11th December at 6pm.
 
It is on this date and at this time that you will receive instructions on how to purchase your tickets.
 
Ticket will be sold on a strictly "First Come First Served" basis so BE ALERT!
 
With respect
 
THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN

A SPECIAL UNIQUE OPPORTUNITY FROM THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN TO YOU
 
Cardiacs will be playing TWO SPECIAL SECRET CONCERTS at The Bull and Gate in Kentish Town, London on the 21st and 22nd of December.
 
Cardiacs will be performing Volumes One and Two of "The Special Garage Concerts" CDs
 
The 21st of December will be Volume One.
The 22nd of December will be Volume Two.
 
Tickets will only be available online at www.cardiacs.com
Tickets will be strictly limited to four per person per night.
 
If you are already on the Cardiacs news mailing list you will be informed in good time as to when the tickets go on sale. It is strongly advised that you join the mailing list as soon as possible to receive ample warning as to when the tickets go on sale in order to avoid disappointment as the concerts are expected to sell out very rapidly due to the intimate size of the venue.
 
If you refuse point blank to become a member of the aforementioned mailing list an announcement will be made as to the on sale date on www.cardiacs.com albeit at the last minute.
 
Tickets will be £12 each.
 
With respect
 
THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN

Cardiacs Tour.
 
Cardiacs will be performing NO LATER than 9pm on all of their upcoming dates EXCEPT London Astoria Theatre where Cardiacs will take to the stage NO LATER than 8.15pm!
  
These times are set in stone and are NON-NEGOTIABLE. Therefore may we respectfully suggest you attend at your earliest promptitude in order to avoid bitter disappointment.
  
Cardiacs’ special guests on all dates are "Johnny 4", a favourite group of Cardiacs and a group for whom THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN would advise you make the extra effort to watch.
  
Johnny 4 will be on stage one hour before Cardiacs at all venues.
 
 
YOUR LOYALTY DEMANDS
 
Perhaps, like many, you too have hopelessly craved an appearance in film, weaving your anterior into the dial of history, expressing your turmoil for some document of antiquity. If you have been keeping abreast of progress through the Cardiacs forum, then you will be stridently aware that THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN have set machinations in place to make very real your pedestrian yearnings.
 
As has been previously announced, THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN has commissioned the forthcoming Cardiacs London show at The Astoria Theatre on November the 11th to be filmed for release on the DVD format.
 
THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN takes this opportunity to suggest you be suitably attired and have generously seen fit to make available an EXCLUSIVE T-SHIRT representing, among the loyal, a united front. While these shirts will be available on the night at The Astoria Theatre, THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN feel that PREPERATION IS THE BEDFELLOW OF TOTALITY and have given YOU the opportunity to purchase your wardrobe in advance.
 
A limited number will be made available at the concerts preceding the Astoria.
 
Of course, it is a given that Cardiacs will open their show with HOME OF FADELESS SPLENDOUR, the celebrated hymn from the album ‘Heaven Born and Ever Bright’.
 
YOUR LOYALTY DEMANDS you add voice to the fanfare and spectacle.
 
THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN are aware that the words are already emblazoned in your hearts, however, THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN also know that there are those who would see fit to sully the reputation of THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN as the benevolent concern by replacing key, stirring lines with ill-mannered alternatives which of course is unacceptable.
 
It is with this in mind that THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN hereby
reproduce the words in full.
 
 
HOME OF FADELESS SPLENDOUR
 
Hail majestic corporate light
Heaven born and ever bright
How our spirit like the waves
At the breath of thine awakes
And now the night of weeping shall be the morn of song
Ah! We are those who’s thunder shakes the skies
The this spun life.
 
Home of fadeless splendour
Of flowers that bear no thorn
Here may the blind and hungry come and
Light and food receive
Here mighty springs of consolation rise
To cheer the fainting mind
And recreation find.
 
So overcome thy fear and burst into sudden blaze
Come the blind fury with th’ abhorred shears and
Slit the thin spun life
Ah! Sobbing with their human sort of wail
Thy justice fear.
 
Walk in shadow walk in dread
Loosefish walk as like one dead
One drop in a winter sea no more to rise forever
Anything down there about your soul will
Smash the sun alight
Ah! Yield week in weak out from morn till night
Feelers from across the sea
Come crawling over thee.
 
One drop in a winter sea no more to rise forever
One drop in a winter sea no more to rise forever
Come the blind fury with th’ abhorred shears
And slit the thin spun life
Ah! Sobbing with their human sort of wail
The thin spun life
We are those who’s thunder shakes the skies
Who’s eyes this atom globe surveys
Thy justice fear
Hooray!

This announcement is hereby delivered as a FINAL CALL, a reminder to all the loyal to pre-book tickets in advance for the forthcoming Cardiacs tour.

While THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN normally salutes impulse, it must be added that on this occasion "Impulse Is the Enclave of the Foolhardy". No man can accurately predict the future; does anyone truly have a firm grip of destiny in his or her own hand? THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN reckons not and sternly advises that turning up and expecting to purchase tickets on the night may very well be AT YOUR PERIL.

The Special Garage Concerts Vols 1 & 2.

It has come to our attention that many of the more luddite factions making up the heterogeneous throng of the loyal are waiting to purchase The Special Garage Concerts Vols 1 & 2 from regular high street retailers.

THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN.

The Special Garage Concerts Vols. 1 & 2 are ONLY available from www.cardiacs.com or at the forthcoming concerts…

CARDIACS ON TOUR NOVEMBER 2005

NOVEMBER 6TH BRIGHTON CONCORD 2
Box office 01273 673311
Online sales www.concorde2.co.uk
Online sales www.seetickets.com

NOVEMBER 7TH PORTSMOUTH WEDGEWOOD ROOMS
Box office 023 9286 3911
Online sales www.seetickets.com

NOVEMBER 8TH OXFORD ZODIAC
Box office 01865 420042
Online sales www.seetickets.com

NOVEMBER 9TH NORTHAMPTON SOUNDHAUS
Box office 0115 9129000
Online sales www.seetickets.com

NOVEMBER 11TH LONDON ASTORIA THEATRE
Box office 0870 060 3777
Online sales www.meanfiddler.com
Online sales www.seetickets.com

Click here to download promotional flyers for Cardiacs forthcoming tour.
(For distribution among reputable establishments)

Regarding said tour, THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN wish to take this opportunity to banish rumour, lie and half truth circulating among tripe-hounds that the set will be based on the aforementioned live albums.

THIS IS UNTRUE.

Cardiacs will be performing an extensive selection of material culled lovingly from their entire three-decade tenure. They will be assisted in this rigorous task by five real girls. (See beautiful mouse mat for evidence, available from merchandise page).

There will be an EXCLUSIVE SHIRT on sale to commemorate the filming of the London Astoria show.

While all ALPHABET staff will attend to your needs with patience and congeniality the same cannot be said for those NOT in the employ of THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN. It is strongly advised that merchandise be bought BEFORE Cardiacs take to the stage lest you find yourself EJECTED onto a cruel autumnal Charing Cross road empty handed by those with little loyalty to Cardiacs or goodwill.

The more observant will have noticed www.cardiacs.com has been updated, altered and improved. Here you will find a wealth of previously covert information and the opportunity to ask Cardiacs themselves your ‘Vexed Questions’.

The first month’s are up there and answered.

This will be followed each month by more. Perhaps.

With respect,

THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN

   
NOVEMBER 6TH     BRIGHTON CONCORD 2
Box office ­ 01273 673311
Online sales www.concorde2.co.uk
Online sales www.seetickets.com  

NOVEMBER 7TH     PORTSMOUTH WEDGEWOOD ROOMS
Box office ­ 023 9286 3911
Online sales www.seetickets.com
   
NOVEMBER 8TH     OXFORD ZODIAC
Box office ­ 01865 420042
 Online sales www.seetickets.com  

NOVEMBER 9TH     NORTHAMPTON SOUNDHAUS
Box office ­ 0115 9129000
Online sales www.seetickets.com
   
NOVEMBER 11TH     LONDON ASTORIA THEATRE
Box office ­ 0870 060 3777
Online sales www.meanfiddler.com
Online sales www.seetickets.com

Click here to download promotional flyers for Cardiacs forthcoming tour.
(For distribution among reputable establishments)
  

The Special Garage Concerts Autumn 2003 Vol one.
The Special Garage Concerts Autumn 2003 Vol two.
 
Available exclusively from www.cardiacs.com
 
 
 
In October 2003 Cardiacs did as they were told and played some ‘gigs’. They played tunes only from way back when they were very horrid eggs. Tunes from no later than 1983. Many of the tunes dating back as far as 1976 when the band first started, when Cardiacs were 15-16 years of age or there abouts. Shitting stinking babies wot demanded feeding. The Band were called Cardiac Arrest back then. They didn’t even know what ‘Cardiac Arrest’ meant. Anyway, they did as they were told and had the gigs recorded. 32 tunes crammed onto two albums (VOL I and VOL II of the Special Garage Concerts London Autumn 2003). Hear the definitive versions of these very early songs on these albums. Some had never even been recorded before. The concerts were recorded in London at a very ‘intimate’ venue called The Garage. They were recorded over three consecutive nights.
 
The CDs will be available from the 17th October 2005, the second year anniversary of the first of the three Special Garage Concerts.
 
Available exclusively from www.cardiacs.com
 
For full track listings please see these following pages: