Testimonial 26.

Let’s travel back in time to the Stonehenge Free Festival, 1984. I was absolutely knackered after The Enid had left the stage in the early hours of the morning, and with Hawkwind due back on at dawn coupled with a burning desire to watch the Druids do their thing within the Stones at sunrise, a spot of sleep was in order. The band that were on next I knew nothing about anyway, so I immediately forgot their name and headed for my tent. The trouble was I hardly slept anyway as our tent was next to a jam-session tent which was just an excuse for people to make as much noise as possible with whatever came to hand. As I tried to sleep, I could also hear the band playing on the main stage, and from what I could hear it sounded like a very unpleasant row. ‘’A nasty punk band,’’ I thought.

Fast forward to Reading Festival 1986. I’d hitched down on the Saturday night/ Sunday morning just for the last day, mainly to see The Enid and Hawkwind (those two bands again). With a few hours to spare before the start at midday, I lay in the sun reading the programme. I noticed that the first band up were called Cardiacs, and I was immediately repulsed by a colour picture of them all grinning inanely, faces covered in slap-dash paint and each of them wearing an awful blue polar-neck sweater with a yellow stripe down one side. I was going to hate this band…

The blurb was a little more encouraging, as the live shows sounded interesting, but an endorsement from Fish didn’t convince. ‘’His taste can be a bit dodgy,’’ I thought. My curiosity was aroused however. Then as they took to the stage accompanied by hisses, bangs and ‘’Albion! Awake!’’ (yes, Tim, I know where that old intro tape came from!) I had to listen and watch.

The next 40 minutes held me transfixed, and yet all the time my mind was racing. I wasn’t really sure what was going on: bandsmen’s’ uniforms, face-paint, a manically-grinning female sax-player who kept kissing the serious-looking singer/ guitarist passionately, a miserable looking bass-player, a clockwork keyboard player… On top of all that the music was insane- all over the place but so complex and yet played with such passion. And then there was Tim. He seemed to have so much energy, and yet his spectacles along with his quizzical expression and blazer made him look like the school swot. His in-between song rants had me seriously doubting his mental stability- just listen to ‘’Rude Bootleg’’! By the time the set climaxed with ‘’The Whole World Window’’ I was one of those at the end you can hear cheering and applauding wildly. Confetti, balloons, champagne… and bewildered Tim being led off the stage was strangely touching. Ten minutes after it was all over a Hawkwind-fan friend of mine spotted me and came up for a chat.
‘’Have Cardiacs been on yet?’’ he asked.
‘’Yep!’’ I replied.
‘’What were they like?’’
‘’Pretty good actually.’’
‘’Yeah, they were good at Stonehenge in ‘84.’’
‘’When were they on then?’’ I inquired.
‘’After The Enid in the middle of the night.’’
So that cleared that one up! Nasty punk indeed…

Fast-forward again to March 1987. One Sunday during a quiet moment at work (a newsagents) I flicked through the Sunday Sport and spotted a ‘’Pop Sex Shocker’’. There was a double-page spread with Cardiacs splashed all over it! ‘’That weird band I saw at Reading,’’ I thought, and proceeded to read a bizarre interview where Tim & Sarah claimed to be brother & sister having an incestuous relationship. No publicity is bad publicity. (By the way, my mate Ian has a copy of this fabled newspaper, & whilst it’s not for sale maybe we could do copies for people?)

March 1988 was when it really happened for me though.
By this time I was working in a wholesale newsagents in Barnsley where we were forced to listen to Radio 1 all day. One afternoon, in amongst all the usual bilge I heard some fantastic guitar which I thought seemed way too good for Radio 1. For once I paid attention at the end and was surprised to hear Gary Davies say it was Cardiacs’ new single. ‘’Is This The Life’’ was upon us, and for 3 weeks Gary Davies played it every day with even prats like Simon Bates and then local radio picking up on it. Incredible…

I went out & bought the newly released ‘’Little Man & a House…’’ album and for months after it was never off my turntable, and I honestly think it’s my most played album of all time. This was finally the start of an obsession that has lasted 11 years so far and shows no sign of letting up. My passion was further fueled by a concert performance in April ‘88 at my fave local venue, Sheffield’s Leadmill, and my inquisitive desires were satisfied by the answers Tim gave me when I interviewed him for a fanzine after a gig in Northampton the following month. This special occasion was made even better by the fact that I spent a very happy hour or so in the King Billy with them all and managed to get myself on the guest list for the first of many times and…

I could go on & on (in fact I already have I think), so I’ll just say that I could write a very self-indulgent book about my Cardiacs experiences (maybe I will?). I’ve hitched all over England to see them, cadged many a lift in their van, slept in the strangest of places after gigs (garden centres, parks, football pitches, railway stations, Jon Poole’s sofa) and each event has been a separate adventure. Without wanting to sound cheesy, Cardiacs have provided me with some of the best moments of my life. Long may they continue…

Belch

Testimonial 27.

How I wish I’d got into Cardiacs earlier. In the late 80’s/early 90’s a couple of friends of mine would speak of them approvingly and drop occasional tracks onto compilations for me. At that point I was sceptical. The music seemed just too wilfully quirky to care about. At one point in my life I was going out with a girl in Reading who knew them. One afternoon Bill Drake called round to see her. He was extremely charming. We spent the afternoon imbibing various substances and laughing. I can remember thinking “It’s a shame I’m not into Cardiacs. I bet loads of fans would kill for this opportunity.” And now, years later, when I’m so into Cardiacs it’s not even funny, when I realise how scrotum-tighteningly ace they are, so inventive, so literate, so original, so criminally overlooked, so much of an inspiration, I look back on that smoky afternoon and reflect on how fucking existential it all is.

I got bitten back by “Heaven Born and Ever Bright”. “Home of Fadeless Splendour” was so cool it just . . . well, you know how it goes. After picking up the Sampler and hearing the Mark Radcliffe sessions, I started to appreciate the literacy and joy inherrent in the music. The songs are like dreams – there’s no point explaining a Cardiacs song any more than there is explaining a dream to someone – you have to experience it. The medium is the message (is my cliche).

I wrote a comedy show for Radio 4, a pilot that crashed. It was a strange thing about animals doing stuff they’re not supposed to. It got recorded and we used Big Ship as the theme tune. I wanted to acknowledge the influence Cardiacs have had on me – and also bring an amazing piece music to the bewildered ears of Radio 4 listeners.

Ah well. That’s my tale. God bless Cardiacs, every one!

Mark G

Testimonial 28.

It was a cold night in January 1984 as I recall as I ventured out with my girlfriend of the time to see Here & Now at Southampton Guildhall – a soulless venue and a soulless band as it turned out. But my life was changed forever by the previously unheard of support band who played what was to me the most fantastically eclectic punk I had ever heard (and I had heard a lot).

Cardiacs for it was they are the only band ever to have acheived a quality sound in the acoustically challenged Guildhall, but what a sound. The set was from the Seaside as I recall and all those tracks had me spellbound until Tim stepped forward with his battered green guitar and played the opening chords of Nurses Whispering Verses and at that moment I knew that this was the best most captivating music I would ever here. To this day although I don’t dance so much at gigs if i here those chords I am compelled to dash to the dance floor and whirl around uncontrollably for the duration. Is This The Life, Big Ship, Dive are all wonderful songs but Nurses remains the No. 1.

I saw Cardiacs again in Southampton later that spring at the West Indian club and then in June at the Stonehenge Free Festival they performed possibly the best set I have ever seen. From the intro that seemed to last fully an hour when the crowd had subsided and only a few bedraggled souls remained in the early hours to watch radiation suited creatures drape muslin over the stage. To the rapturous applause of the thousands who had arrived during the two hours to discover who could be creating those wonderfully sounds as the sun rose through the Stones. Cardiacs were the outstanding performance at the festival and their reputation grew.

I did a silly thing in 1985 and moved to the cultural wilderness that was South Wales and had to wait to 1996 and travel back to the West Indian club again before I got to see cardiacs again but it was worth the wait. Since then I have travelled when I could and encouraged promoters wherever i could so that I have lost count of the number of times I have been to Cardiacs gigs. But I am sure that it is not often enough.

And the other thing I am sure of is that Nurses Whispering Verses (preferably with the original lyrics reinstated) must be mandatory in every live set in future…please.

Phil, Southampton

Testimonial 29.

Well, I first heard of the Cardiacs in 1992 after meeting my boyfriend at Uni in Stoke. Golf was, and continues to be, a huge fan and was continually playing their music / telling me how wonderful they were. I, however, was determined to deny their appeal and expressed hatred for their music for a number of years.

Roll on to Jan 1999. Cardiacs were playing the Bar Fly in Camden and I was finally convinced that I should give them a go live. I loved them and have been to all the London gigs and some of the others around the country since. Unfortunately, I have now had to admit that Golf and his mates are right in saying that The Cardiacs are the greatest band since….well, since nothing, actually.

Maire Litchfield – Director
PaperBoy Global Ltd

Testimonial 30.

Why do I like Cardiacs? I don’t have a choice. I was only 14 and I’d never seen a pop band before. The deafening nuclear assault that was the intro. tape made me think something was up. The first song was “To Go Off & Things” and I was quite sure from that moment that I was contaminated. It went on to ruin and dominate my teenage years ostracizing me from my friends who were either “into Metal” or Bros and Glen Mediros. Only my friend Ted understood, and that was when no-one else was looking.

A short time after my Cardiacs virginity was violently ripped out of me “On Land and In the Sea” was released. It only inflamed my passion more and I took to spending every penny I had on Cardiacs. I begged, borrowed and harassed people for the then deleted items and would badger Spitty constantly for news and rare stuff. This may have caused him irreversible brain trauma which some think is a good thing.

I even managed to harass Dominic Luckman for drum lessons and he was very kind to do so. All I wanted to do was play in a band and now I wanted it to be in Cardiacs, if only I could have been worthy of filling those shoes. My passion probably got me ejected from more bands than I would care to remember with my suggestions of “why not make it go CHNNG CHNNG SCREEEEEEEEEEEEE BADABADABADA PELNMELN SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”.

It has even infiltrated my academic career with my GCSE Music compositions being based around the more experimental Cardiacs sounds (think “Eat it up Worms Hero” with it’s hands down Bartocks pants) and led to me base my 3rd year thesis at University around the Cardiacs and why they upset people (or something like that I forget).

I have been rendered “professional” as a musician as I am now fit for little else. Don’t be alarmed, I am not writing this sat in my piss stained y-fronts, in a dodgy south London squat, twanging a guitar whilst dwelling in obscurity. I’m just dwelling in obscurity.

I’d like to blame Cardiacs for the reason my music has become littered with commercial suicide notes (no pun intended) but I can’t.

Oh sod it, I will!

I’m off to Japan now and I won’t be back for a year.

StuffyXXX